michael gallucci

MOVIE REVIEW — 3-D SEX AND ZEN: EXTREME ECSTASY

In movie review on 09/14/2011 at 1:17 pm

 3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy

3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy‘s reputation precedes it. But know this: Its reputation is way more stimulating than the movie itself. The film broke all sorts of sales records when it was released in Hong Kong. Not because it’s a good movie or anything like that, but because it’s soft-core porn with the promise of boobs virtually bouncing in your lap with the help of state-of-the-art 3-D.

And as far as that goes, it delivers. But there’s nothing here you won’t see on late-night cable, so Internet porn connoisseurs will undoubtedly be disappointed. Unless the 3-D, better than Clash of the Titans but not nearly as great as Avatar, is enough to keep them hanging on for two hours. Because the story sure won’t. But let’s face it: Who’s going to 3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy for the story?

Let’s get the narrative, what there is of it, out of the way: Self-important scholar Wei Yangsheng (Hiro Hayama) falls in love with spoiled princess Tie Yuxiang (Leni Lan) at first sight. They marry, but he’s a disappointment in the bedroom, blowing his load within seconds. Plus, he has a really small dick. So he retreats to the temple of an evil prince (Tony Ho), who — along with his harem of eager-to-please girls – helps make a man of him.

Like most late-night cable soft-core flicks, 3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy is built around ultimate male fantasies. After Wei surgically swaps his tiny penis with a

donkey’s, he tests it out by having sex with 10 women at the same time. And there’s a revenge plot that turns Tie into a chained, helpless victim. There’s also catfights, girl-on-girl lovin’, over-the-top action scenes, and blood (and more) leaping off the screen

3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy is a remake of sorts of a 1991 movie, and both are based on a 17th century Chinese fable called The Carnal Prayer Mat (though I’m not so sure that a giant turbo-powered penis slapping somebody across the face in slow motion is something the original writer had in mind). There’s a playful enough spirit to some of it – first-time director Christopher Sun Lap Key has a great time with flying daggers and squirting blood – but midway through, the movie turns brutal, with extended rape sequences and bloody severed limbs all over the place.

Still, somehow through all the sex and violence the movie maintains a sense of humor, especially in its hammy acting. But instead of bringing a genuine comic element to the movie, it’s just another genre to stuff into the half-dozen or so already fighting for space. Even so, take away the 3-D and sex from 3-D Sex and Zen and all you’ve got is a little zen. And not much of a movie.

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